| Meet Our Actors... |
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 Jeff Gephart |
Rumored to have been the inspiration behind Billy Bob Thornton’s character in “Sling Blade,” Jeff Gephart hails from the backwoods of Western Maryland and has been a member of the Area 13 posse since well before the first “series finale” episode of MY SHOW...and he looks forward to being a part of many future “series finale” episodes. He performs on the show, writes for it, designs the DVD covers, and cleans up around the offices. Due to his innocuous brand of humor, Jeff is proud to say he has only received one verified death threat since appearing on the show. He has also written and appeared in other Area 13 films such as “Slammin’ Annie” and “Just Because.” When not performing, Jeff likes to spend his time insuring the financial well-being of several local bartenders, professional bullfighting, corrupting the minds of our society’s youth, jazzercising, and giving autographs to strangers who mistake him for actor Nick Stahl (Terminator 3). Jeff has written two feature length screenplays, and his debut novel, “The Second Life,” was published in 2005. (See www.jeffgephart.com for info) Already a critical darling for his memorable bitch-slapping of Courtney Love on the 2004 MTV movie awards, Jeff continues to gain legions of ravenous fans with each passing day. Roger Ebert is reported to have raved, “I’ve never even heard of the guy, and how did you get this number?” Although overlooked at this year’s Oscars, Jeff did receive an honorary Daytime Emmy Award in 1999 for his starmaking portrayal of Suzanne Somers in a series of Thighmaster infomercials. |
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 Ben Schyan |
Ben is a seasoned actor. He has done many independent films around the local area. His credits include "R&B NO Contest: A Karaoke Saga" by R&B productions, "Dead Hunt" by Timewarp Films, and "Slammin Annie" with area13films. Ben has also done PA work the movie "Step UP" as well as worked with metropolis films for a commercial for Club 1722. Ben was also seen on several episodes of "My show is better then your show" with area13films, and was a contender on the show "Elimidate". Ben continues to pursue acting and hopes to someday land a role on a comedy sitcom or a one hour drama. |
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 Kelly Shields |
Kelly Shields is a 19 year old actress who loves any chance to be the star and will fight a "ho" for that lead spot. Known as the "diva" of My Show, Kelly has played many challenging roles such as "Roxy Roxanne" which is far from kelly's actual personality. In her spare time, Kelly likes to read the bible, attend church, and damn the sinners that make up our society. Kelly is single and looking for love. Real Love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love. So if you are looking for that one-of-a-kind overly-religious companion, Kelly is the girl for you! Check out her sketches on My Show is Better Than Your Show! |
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 Jeannie Wilson |
Jeannie is an aspiring actress that is horrible at writing in the third person. She has done several major motion pictures, none of which you would have heard of. She is part of a super secret spy organization and cannot divulge any further information. She is currently on Hiatus in a cornfield in the Midwest. |
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 Dru Brock |
Dru William Brock was born in the back of a taxi cab, surrounded by the brisk chill of Christmas morning in the year 1977. Sadly, this cab was not on the way to the hospital. His mother was actually on the way to a liquor store to purchase some more “home abortion juice”.
From this rocky beginning, Dru sought solace in the recesses of his ample imagination. He continues the habit to this day, causing the line between reality and surreality to become horribly blurred. (He seems to think he is a screenwriter… so sad.)
Dru’s special skills include forgetting simple tasks, breaking seemingly unbreakable objects, and doing a lot of push-ups in a row. His turn-offs include noisy elevators, one-armed hobos, and soap that doesn’t float.
Currently, Dru can be seen in the C. Thomas Howell vehicle “The DaVinci Crud,” available only on Blockbuster’s “One copy is too many for this crap” shelf.
Now trapped in the San Fernando Valley, popularly known as the pornography capitol of the world, Dru has taken on the “can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” mentality and is penning a script entitled, “Office Sluts 7: Strictly Jizzness”.
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 David Lipscomb |
Jammin’ the nation’s capitol is the hottest & funkiest DJ/Vocalist DJ RETROROCK. He’s the man behind this new phenominon called “HOUSE FUNK MUSIC “. He used to be a member of the vocal group called N-TENZE; where he produced & wrote most of the group’s tracks. Let your eardrums get moist to his songs like: "LET-N MY SOUL FREE “ / “ MY NEW AFFECTION “ / “HARDCORE “ / “SMACK IT UP “; he also plays some of your favorite classic songs & artist like: “BUJU BANTON" / “TENDER LOVE “ / “CAN’T TOUCH THIS “ / “ MOVE DA CROWD “ / “ CAN YOU FEEL IT “ & MANY MORE. He uses a unique blend of house beats & funk bass lines to give the music its edge. He has performed at such places / events like: “ JILLIANS / DB in Arundel mills” /“The robin quivers talk show” / “The road to stardom”(commercial) / “Summer art al fresco series of Arlington VA” / “Dream nightclub (fashion show)” /”Club five” / “Tampox Total You tour “/ “Amateur night at the Apollo” / “Howard Univ. Homecoming” / ” Futurefest at the Lincoln Theatre” / “H street day” / “Adams Morgan Day” / “DC bikefest”. If you are ready for a new force in dance music, then DJ RETROROCK is the one to call! |
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 Bryan Minnick |
Bryan Minnick, best known for his role as Alter Boy, Action Priest’s sidekick, was once a promising young Actor/Director/Writer and Statesmen. Bryan has since turned to a life of crime. It all began when he was attempting to locate where in the world Carmen Sandiego went. He followed her from Kiev to Carolina, from Berlin down to Belize and caught up to her during a ride on a slow boat to China. That is where he became her accomplice and began his high stakes crime spree, always with the intent of making people realize how important national treasures and geography are. You also might catch him and some friends making covert movies under the moniker of Team Access. |
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 Jason Scott |
The Great Acts of Jason I once saw Jason throw a baby 400 miles. I once saw Jason outdance Michael Jackson, right after the child touching contest...which he also won. I once saw Jason pick up a truck full of molten boron and dump it on a school bus full of children. Jason once slapped a ho so hard she birthed his cash money. Jason invented skeet. Jason can cut through moses like the red sea. I once saw him castrate a field of mice...in 3 seconds. I once saw him turn an ant hill into bread. I once saw Jason spit in a baby's mouth. I once saw Jason take a tour bus from california to new york without once going to the bathroom. He impregnated my girlfriend while we were scuba diving...from the moon. Jason once dressed up like mickey mouse and pummeled the president. Jason once ate like 800 hot dogs and shat out a majik chalice made of sewn strands of angel hair that projected images of children playing with lava. Jason once... read the whole thing HERE. |
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